Dear Kimr75,
So sorry to hear about the death of your Mom. It is a very difficult time when you lose a parent.
It has been 10 years since my Mom's death. I still catch myself crying sometimes. There is a very special and strong bond between ourselves and our Mothers.
When I was much younger I didn't believe that I would actually survive the death of my parents. I really believed that I too would die when my parents were dead. I didn't feel there was any point to living without my parents in the world.
I will not kid you, when each of my parents died it was very difficult for me. So many things reminded me of them. A wise person once said to me though that I could not feel their presence anymore because I still felt their absence so acutely. But you know what, in time, I did survive and I did continue living.
There still is not a day that goes by that I don't think of them.
Perhaps think of your current grief as a jagged stone in your pocket. Each time you put your hand in your pocket the stone stabs you and hurts you. Over time however, that stone will become smooth. And instead of the stone hurting you, you will feel a sense of comfort from that stone (the memories of your Mum) instead.
There are many books of support available for you. You can journal if that helps you. There are some journals that allow you to put in memories and/or pictures, etc. Do things that make you feel loved and connected.
Be gentle with yourself. Grief is a journey. That journey never ends but it does change. Take the time you need. It is your grief journey.
I hold you in my heart.
Allyson