Thanks for the replies guys.  I learn so much from the wise input from others.  I took some time to reflect on your words before I wrote the following reply.

 JennJilks, I believe you when you say, “bearing witness is enough”.  I tend to be a “talker”.  One of my biggest struggles is to just remain silent and let the person speak, or remain quiet when the person wants to share the sweetness of silence.  Thanks for the reminder.  I needed that.

 It is true that we do not often receive thanks for what we do.  I believe that this is due to the circumstances.  People are overwhelmed by their own concerns.  If we pay attention, the thanks for our acts of love, comes to us, in the form of blessings, from the source of all love.

 Do hold on to the small things.  You never know when they are big things in disguise.  I love the following quote:  "Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things. I am tempted to think there are no little things."  - Bruce Barton

 Claudia, I like your comment, “To constantly reflect on who you are and how you can help means that each time you enter the presence of a fellow human being you are doing so in a fresh and renewed way. “  

Everything we do is either a success or a learning experience.  Spending time in reflection after each encounter allows us to learn and grow as we become better at being compassionate souls.  Knowing our strengths and limitations allows us to accept and love ourselves.  Only in this way can we truly love others.   As we grow forward, we reach out in the full and true spirit of love.  Only then can we can be refreshed and renewed as we reach out with compassion, over and over again.

 Brayden,  when you say, “We always have to put ourselves in the position of the patient and take our cue from them.” The key part that jumped out at me was, “take our cue from them”.  Often I find myself falling back on something that I had experienced with another resident at hospice.  No matter how well it went, it is not necessarily the approach for the next person.  Learning to read the clues, as we take the cue from them, is one of the most difficult things to accomplish.  I try to work hard on this.

 When you say “I also tell myself that I am doing this for the patient.”, it reminds me of something that was drummed into us when we trained as volunteers.  We were told to remember to say often to ourselves, “It’s not about me.”  This can be a great reminder for us in a multitude of situations. 

 I find it most helpful when I become very close with a resident and then I have a particularly emotional encounter with them or their family.  Just before my emotions overwhelm me I have learned to stop, take a deep breath and say, “It’s not about me.  If I “stress out”, I cannot be of help to the resident or their family.”  Next, I then force myself to think of all the sweet, tender, happier moments that we shared.  This pulls me back from the edge of negative territory into my positive bubble.  Then I can effectively carry on.  And all this while remaining “fully present, in the moment”.  This is tough stuff, huh?

 Thanks again guys.  Can we keep an open dialog on these topics?  I get so much from them. 

 -eKim

Tracie, thank you so much for your sweet words.  It’s heartwarming to hear about Pierre and how he impacted your life so positively.  Being male, I like to hear the experiences of other males who find themselves in the field of palliative care.  The women at hospice are so much better at the intuitive side of things that I don’t even try to keep up with them, I simply watch, in awe.

I love the quote by Oscar Wilde   “For one moment our lives met and our souls touched.”  When this happens, it is a powerful, overwhelming sensation.  The only thing that I can compare it to is the feeling of “falling in love”.  Sadly, some people confuse the two feelings and let their human frailties lead them in the wrong direction.

When you properly recognize this sensation for its truth, it is a liberating experience.  I liken it to the most pure form of love: Agape, meaning and referring to:  ‘the covenant love of God for humans, as well as the human reciprocal love for God; the term necessarily extends to the love of one’s fellow humans.’

The telling of your story regarding your plans to marry Len is poignant – both sad and sweet.  Thank you for sharing your story, Tracie.

Thank you for your encouragement for me to continue to do what I do at hospice.  If one pays attention to life (rather than simply proceed on auto-pilot), one will notice many things, two of which are:
 

1)    Often there never is a reward for kind deeds that one performs.  Mostly this is simply circumstantial.  It is not a reflection of the core values of the person receiving the good deed.

2)    Out of the blue, one day, you will be the beneficiary of a good deed, often by a complete stranger or someone that you don’t expect to reach out to you.  It will please you and surprise you.  You will have no idea of how or why.  However, in your silent moments, if you think back on the good that you have breathed into this world, you will understand how and why.

Tracie, if you wish, you could post an update for us and tell us how you are doing and what difficulties you are facing on your journey.  You know that we at Virtual Hospice have a warm and safe place for you, always.  eKim