Dear SadSandy,
Such quick and traumatic loss takes a terrible toll. I can tell how much you loved your mother and that your being with her was profound up to her death. And certainly she knw that.
The grief journey is long and winding. It only goes one day at a time. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, say waht comes to your mind, and take as many naps as you can.
I hope you will get to a place where your memories become gifts as well as sources of pain.
My mom died 7 years ago. I miss her when I am housecleaing, but I feel her when I see a female cardinal flitting about in the trees. And I say, "Hello, Mother!"
Nouce