Hi JennJilks,
Rereading what I had written to you makes me sound quite bitter and I guess in some ways I am. Losing both of them within weeks of each other I'm sure made me much more sensitive to what was going on around me. Unfortunately the hospital we deal with is disliked even by the paramedics.
As for good experiences along the way, I must admit that there have been some that just shine. Len's social worker was a darling. After he passed, we had to put my mom in the hospital the next day. A few days later she was sitting with my brother talking about my mom and when she saw me her jaw dropped. She looked from my brother to me then jumped up and hugged my daughters and I and was so upset that we was having to go through this again so soon, She was amazing. The day my mom passed away we just happened to be walking toward each other and she took one look at the faces of my daughters and I and with tears in her eyes grabbed us and held on. Unfortunately, she went off on maternity leave soon after that and we were unable to get her to work with my daughters to help them with grief councelling which unfortunately they never did get.
My husband's home nurse was like my best friend. He would come in and chat with us and was so well received in the household. He went away on holidays for a week and that was when the altercation with the doctor happened (there were two incidents with her) and when he came back from holidays he was so shocked at the decline in my husband who had previously been yakky and sitting in his office watching tv and was now flat out in bed without much in the way of communication. It was after this that I remember him and I sitting and talking one day about so many different things that we had in common and it was like we had known each other for years. When I told him that I could never do what he does, he smiled and said 'Oh yes you could. You are one of the rare ones that truly could do this'. He was one of those people that makes me think that there are angels walking among us. He had even offered to come and dress my husband for our wedding day (something Len had decided he wanted to do after 23 years of common law) and was devastated when he called and I said that he had passed away a few hours before. This sweet caring man will always be in my heart.
So, as you sit quietly beside those who are preparing to pass over, remember how important of a role you play in their lives and their families. Although you may never again hear from the family, know that you have given them such a precious gift that will forever be etched in their hearts. That you are able to keep their loved comfortable and do it in such a loving way means so much.
Hugs,
Tracie