Hi B,
The last few years definitely qualify you as a warrior in my eyes! As far as I know I don't have serious illness, but I worked for a number of years in a cancer treatment outpatient clinic.
I think it takes the courage of a warrior to have feet in two worlds - the present and very uncertain future. I wonder if part of knowing what to do and where to focus energy depends on how much energy you have. What does your heart draw you to? Maybe starting with the things that are most important for you to look after yourself - like pictures, letters, memorobilia.... Not necessairly to discard them, but to sort them - memories can be good medicine too. Would a close friend or family member enjoy that memory trip with you? Might be a way to open conversation
I hesitate to give suggestions - but was reminded of Linda, a member who started the thread Serious illness some years ago and will add her thoughts to this message.
Linda wrote, "all those ideas for a legacy - I do envy people's creativity. I have spent the past few months soting thru papers and pictures and stuff, putting stuff into labelled tubs...." and "what I am discovering is that it's important to have something to do. ...I practise trying to keep a sense of balance - I've learned that we choose our misery."
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Katherine